Lost.

I feel very lost today. I'm struggling to remember the year, month, date, day. I am having trouble recalling what I did just a couple of hours ago.

I've been out of medicine for a while now from what I'm told. We just cannot afford it. It definitely helped me, and not having it is definitely depressing - if I could recall what I was like with it.

It's heartbreaking. I know I have an injury. I know I'm struggling today. I have to hold what little is left together as best as I can. I can't totally loose it. I can't.

It is very hard to put into words what I'm feeling right now. My head is pounding more than ever. I'm trying to remember and that causes my head to just thump. I'm over thinking and paying the price. If I don't stop, it will just get worse. How can I stop though? I have to try to keep my grip with reality. I can't let it go. I have things to do. Places to go. I can't loose my grip, though my hands are sweaty and it's slowly slipping away.