I forgot I had this!

It took a friend asking me about something on it for me to look at it more closely and see that infact, at some point, I started this blog.

My husband went over a comment the other day. About me having the luxury of forgetting things. A luxury. Needless to say, that stung.

I honestly rather never forget a detail, than to have this.

Yes, I do have a "luxury" of forgetting bad things. Then again, there is a reason for bad things. They help you grow, to form into a better person, to not make the same mistake twice. They are there to learn from. Without them, there is no learning. There is no memory of how it felt in that moment. There is nothing.

I need the bad. I need the bad to help me be a better person. For me to grow and flourish.

We all need the bad to go with the good.

What people say is true. You go through bad things in order to learn. To try to prevent it in the future, to become stronger.

When there is no bad in your memory - how can one grow? learn? flourish?

I don't believe one can. Which is why it's so disheartening. It's not a luxury. It's a living nightmare.

Complaining.

So a new movie was recently released in theaters. It's called "The Vow" and several friends have seen it then proceeded to put on their FB their views.

The story is based on a true story. Woman and Man are living separate lives, meet, date, marry. Woman has terrible auto accidents, injuries, looses 18 months of memory. Therefore, woman has no memory of meeting Man nor their marriage. He's a total stranger to her. They go through stuff together, start to date, renew their vows and are making new memories together and are happy.

That sums it up. This gets a book deal and a Hollywood movie because it has a good beginning, tragic situation, and a happy ending. Yeah, Hollywood!

The problem are many posts I'm seeing:
     It's so sad!
     Can you imagine the heartbreak?!
     I feel so bad for both of them.
     I cried!
     No one deserves to go through what they did.
     You know that's true love!

And the comments keep going on and on - all along those lines.

Let's break this down for a minute here.

This woman had a tragic accident. I had an accident.
This woman is injured. I was injured.
The man struggles to deal with his wife. My husband struggles to deal with me.
This woman lost 18 months of her memory. I lost the ability to make any new memories from 2007.
Her husband is able to make new memories with her. My husband has to forever remind me of everything.

Wait....

What?

THIS IS SAD?!  I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  yes, her accident was sad. What happened was tragic. It was NOT the end of the world. She has the full ability to make and recall new memories. They could have divorced, but chose not to. He doesn't have to constantly remind her of things. She can LEARN what happened during those whole 18 MONTHS!

THIS is a Hollywood Movie.

THIS has all my FB friends so "sad".

I have posted on several of the comments things like:
     This isn't sad. It's a love story. Big deal.
     18 months is nothing - try living the rest of your life with no memories from 2007 and on.
     My husband has to remind me daily about everything - from what happened at the end of 2007 to what happened this morning.
     My husband was handed a life sentence the same day I was. He didn't leave. Why should this man be commended before anyone else that is making a LIFE LONG sacrifice for his partner?

Apparently all of my friends "forgot" I have a brain injury. I don't know. Pre Injury, I'd have never forgotten something like that. Even from just an acquaintance to my best friend - I would never have forgotten something like that. Yet, so many of mine have. They act all surprised and stunned when I post my comment. Asking, "What do I mean?"  and "Why are you so mean about it"? Then I lay it on them. That's when I hear "I'm so sorry", "I forgot", "I don't know how you keep living like that." to the best "Man, if I was your hubby that would get old so fast, I'd be gone."

Yet, all of those same people had consideration and sadness for what this Hollywood Movie couple went through. Yet, a lot had none for their friend that is going through it, has been going through it, and will likely not remember anything even on her death bed.

Yes, they are no longer "friends".

It just has me angry. Angry as hell. Because there is no ending to my story, it's not as important - even to my own friends.

No one asks how I'm doing. (I write that down).
No one gets ahold of me. (I write that down).
No one asks to come see me or do something with me. (I write that down).

I do all the initiating. I go by the last time that's written down. Some I have apparently refused to contact until they contact me. (It's written down).

I just don't get it. Everyone wants to talk about this Hollywood Movie and the couple - yet no one wants to talk about what their very own friend/family member is and has been and will be forever going through.

It just sucks. It also just leaves me sitting here, questioning, "Why do I keep living if this is all I'm going to be?"

Damn Movie. I hate you and haven't even seen you!