Hate

I hate this brain injury. I hate what it's done to me. I hate having all these issues. I hate loosing who I was. I hate that I can't remember what's going on. I hate that I feel like a failure. I hate that I need help. I hate that I'm so terrified to ask for it. I hate the fear of getting worse. I hate the fear of loosing my vision. I hate the fear of loosing my hearing. I hate the fear that at any point in time, I'll forget how to walk, talk, turn something on/off. I hate what this has done to me. I hate that I feel no one can help me. I hate calling a doctor to tell them I need help, so I don't. I hate sitting and not knowing. I hate not remembering. I hate that life is passing me by and I don't remember it. I hate feeling stuck in time. I hate that I can't be the wife I once was. I hate that I can't be the mom I once was. I hate that I feel so damn hopeless. I hate that I feel so damn useless.

I hate who I have become.