Reading Tears

I love to read. It's part of who I am. I still enjoy it, even with my new me. I have been exploring free ebooks on different sites, like Amazon. If something catches my eye, I download to read in the future. So my Kindle Fire is full of books that I have downloaded. I have found several new favorite authors this way and have went on to purchase other novels by them. I don't see why people are so against such a thing. It's a great way to "test drive" a novel before putting down good hard earned cash. I gladly pay for more if the author's free novel was outstanding and will continue to do so. 

That being said, I normally see this huge list of books on my ereader. I have no idea what any of them are about by the time I get to them. I'll spin the carousel back and forth and land on something that just seems to hit the spot. Sometimes it does, other times I wonder what I was thinking. 

Today it landed on one that I could not, for the life of me, figure out what it would be about.Clearly, though, when I saw it on Amazon it pulled my interest. So I decided to begin.

I'm about a third of the way through this new book. I am struggling with it. The writing is great. The grammar and punctuation and spelling are perfect. The story line has me hooked. 

So what's the problem?

It's the story of a young girl that suffers a TBI. 

I'm trying to find out if it's based on the author's personal experience, someone close to her, or if she just researched it. 

Does it matter? Not really. You see, I am struggling with it because I get a couple more pages in and I have to stop. I can no longer see the pages with the tears flowing out of my eyes. My heart just sinks into my stomach and twists. My eyes are flooded. I'm gasping to catch my breath. 

I know this girl. I feel this girl. I am this girl. 

The things she feels, sees, comprehends and doesn't comprehend are so very real to me. It's my life. People reacting as if it's not a big deal. People not understanding. People being rude and mean. People trying to be helpful but only frustrating you more. 

I will finish this novel. I will. It might break me, but I will. I will also find out how the author can relate. I will. I need to. 

Maybe I should attempt to write about my life. It would be a struggle, but it might be the struggle that is needed. For people to finally understand where I'm coming from. With my daily struggles with simple basic things. Maybe I should.